You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
