My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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