there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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