I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
