So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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