I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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