i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
