I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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