I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
