I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize