You work out of a Hotel?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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