after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
