so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
