3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
