Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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