i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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