I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
