I am in a vortex of obligation.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
