I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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