mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
