talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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