This house was built for laser tag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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