yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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