no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
