it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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