just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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