the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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