I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
