she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
