My hand turned me down
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
