You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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