OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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