So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I had to cum in my sink.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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