Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
