Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
