Yo dont text me then not text me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There r osticjed everywhere
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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