So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
