We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize