i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize