how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
