Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
