Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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