Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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