I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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