There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Green mimosas i think yes
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
