I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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