Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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