Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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