Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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