I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
