Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
