remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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