I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
