Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
