I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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