We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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