Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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