I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
