babies were throwing up all over the place
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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