Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
