I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
