Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
