guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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