you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
