I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the condom got lost in my hair
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
