It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
