So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
