So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
