We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
