I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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