I'm really into asian looking animals
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he thought i was a dude.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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