All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
