There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
