I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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