but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
