Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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