If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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